For God's Sake, Think of the Children!

For Real

2008-07-30T08:50:00.004+10:00

When I saw The One: A Search for Australia's Most gifted Psychic advertised on that purveyor of fine televisual entertainment Channel 7 and I thought hey more tack for dumbies... no skin off my nose right?

Well they have plumbed new depths of bad taste (and no I am not talking about employing Andrew Daddo as the host). In the final they are going to 'find', using only their psychic powers, the body of Peter Falconio.

No I am for real. Is it just me or is that one of the worst ideas you have heard in a long time.

IT IS TOO SOON!!

On a separated but related tangent, I am devastated that Mike Munro will no longer be gracing our tv screen. This is a real loss (he is the number two newsreader you know) which, given that Ray Martin has also bitten the dust makes my day. What on earth will we do without the two most smug smarmy bastards ever to appear behind a news desk and, more importantly, does this mean we will never see a revival of Frontline?

I love that Mikey said to the SMH (and indeed anyone who would listen... slow news day anyone?) " I didn't want to be out there jostling for shows and wanting to work at Nine when they're going for a younger demographic". And that is precisely why he was on NOVA with Merrick, Rosso and Kate Ritchie discussing busting paedophiles yesterday morning...

I am, however, a little concerned about Nine's axing of both Nightline and Sunday. Clearly the Australian public who in all seriousness are going to vote for The One need less news right? I mean a less informed public is precisely what we need. It appears that indeed more Australians are turning to 7 both for Ian Ross (for god sake how can anyone stand those dead eyes?) and... for a psychic game show featuring the as yet undiscovered body of an English Backpacker.

You don't need a sixth sense to see where this country is headed.

and then there was this...

2008-07-22T11:41:00.004+10:00

Having mentioned spinoffs, I am now compelled to discuss the film version... the sequel.

In this case I have never seen the original (and I would like to keep it that way) but I think L. Ron's cronies are getting a little shirty at the lack of tithing so Tom Cruise is making a Top Gun sequel... 22 years after the original was released.

Apparently this time Cruise will be the instructor and in a 'clever' and 'unexpected' twist of fate, he will have to deal with a cocky female trainee fighter pilot. Wowee how long did it take to come up with that little creative gem?

But perhaps I am being overly cynical about TC's financial situation, he was Jerry McGuire after all (damn you Cameron Crowe) perhaps it is just time to make war fun and exciting again.

Don't day the S word!

2008-07-22T09:47:00.004+10:00

T'was the final night of Big Bro last night... Praise Jesus!

I think it is fitting that the racist Nana wins the final series.

Jackie O and Kyle have proved yet again why radio is their best format. I do not think I have seen a such a text book example of what happens when obnoxiousness tries to pass for personality. My my television became a charisma deadspot and it hasn't been that bad since I started avoiding Morris Iemma.

Truly is Kyle "the Poison Koala" Sandilands* the most loathsome person formerly on Australian television screens?

But kiddies be warned this is what happens when shows like BB get canceled. Only slightly less terrifying than reality tv is the phrase... SPINOFF.

For those of you who remember... Brenda Walsh will be returning to tv screens in a Beverly Hills 90210 spinoff called... 90210 (inspired!). Apparently she grew up to be a famous theatre director... reality tv it ain't.

*ruthlessly stolen and yet appropriately cited...

it's time to go....

2008-07-14T19:03:00.002+10:00

So apparently the inspired choice of the Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O wasn't enough to rescue Big Brother with Channel 10 confirming today that the final eviction of BBO8 will be the last time we hear the immortal phrase "It's time to go". Not even Pammy or rumours of a sex tape starring bratty Bridget worked for BB this year.

Well I know I am devastated.

Personally I am not going to miss the hours of tv time spent watching Australia's most desperate and most vacuous attempt to be national 'celebrities' (and yes I include Kyle, Jackie and Gretel Killeen).

I do find myself wondering what cheap, vapid, formulaic rubbish Channel 10 will find (or develop) to replace it...

Now there's a scary thought.

This is why accuracy IS important

2008-07-01T17:06:00.002+10:00

If you change but two letters in this blog's url you end up here.

Be warned.

So true...

2008-06-26T17:01:00.003+10:00

I still find myself having to write responses to people who write stupid stuff though.

I spend a lot of time writing on toilet walls.

Sad but true.

my ears are bleeding

2008-06-23T16:26:00.005+10:00

Is this the woman you want singing your AC/DC?

Does anyone else think the prospect of Celine AND Anastacia doing a duet cover of AC/DC terrifying?

For those who wish to see it you are braver than I (I lasted 15 seconds) here it is in all of its tragic glory.

In case you weren't sure that was You Shook Me All Night Long.

But wait... there's more.

How about the same song different earsplitting songstress? It seems Shania Twain also has an affection for Acker Dacker.

And don't think the South Americans aren't getting into the action.... Here's Shakira doing Back in Black.

For God's Sake.... Think of the Children!

just because you can....

2008-05-09T12:39:00.003+10:00

Skinny jeans have been trendy for way too long... we see them on the streets in a multiplicity of colours worn mostly by people who should know better (or who should at least shop with friends who are good enough to be honest). But far be it for me to impose my sense of good taste on the youth of today.

I am not sure when it became cool for boys to show off just how skinny their legs actually are but hey... whatever works I guess.

The only thing I would say (nay scream) is this:

Skinny jeans are so not ghetto!

Lads if you are going to insist on wearing your girlfriend's jeans for god's sake get a frigging belt!

No one wants to see your underwear and your obvious confusion in the face of conflicting fashions styles just makes you look... well... confused.

Made In the 80s?!

2008-03-09T18:41:00.000+11:00

What is with those made in the 80s tshirts I see children wearing today.

Admittedly many of them were in fact 'made' in the 80s but they are too young to claim any kind of cultural capital from that decade....

no no my little ones you are the children of the 90s, the decade that style forgot.

If they were made in the 80s as they claim then why lord would we be seeing the return of fluoro?

Those of us that lived through it the first time would never want to see it inflicted on anyone again. Fluoro and its bastard love-child pastel fluoro must burn in hell for all eternity for they are the gateway through which other atrocities will be visited upon us.

If you want to see how right I am let me tell you that both hypercolour singlets and SCRUNCHIES are back in the stores.....

Yes a tshirt that lets everyone see how much you are sweating, despite liberal applications of deoderant and those weird hairties that look like a scarf but aren't (how tricksy) are back in fashion.

Sweet jesus save us!